Investigation of Ghetto Riots in Great Lakes area Linked to Microplastics

The violent images of last week’s riots will still be fresh in the minds of many of our readers - the burnt-out shell of an air warehouse brought down by the mob had left the scene on the interstate left looking like a warzone. 

Early reports detail the violence as starting along Chicago’s waterfront, in the many transient camps stretching from Kenwood up through to Lakeview. Violence is not rare among these communities; Chicago’s waterfront ghettos are a hive for Virtural Reality Addicts who are often crowded around free electricity hubs, desperate to get enough charge to last them through the night. Riots nearly always follow a power outage. 

The night of the Great Lakes Riot, however, saw similar violence erupt along the Milwaukee stretch and even in Michigan’s peaceful family campgrounds - it was soon clear that this was no typical riot. Bystanders all report strange and irrational behavior: 

“They didn’t know what they were doing, they were moving without coordination, without mob-mentality - they weren’t fighting, they were mauling - they’d become feral animals!” 

Policemen tell of chaos in the cells, of rioters coming in and being in such a state that they couldn’t recall their own names. Perhaps most disturbingly were how many had tried to tear out their body modifications. What could have caused someone to attempt such a painful procedure?

Results from the post mortems suggest microplastics from Lake Michigan to be the cause. The official police report states that “microplastics evident in the lake water had caused irreparable damage to the brain, and had likely induced violent behavior, a lack of  impulse control and, occasionally, seizures.” The announcement, delivered live by an indifferent police commissioner, ended with a mandate to “keep to designate water sources.”

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